“The aim of life is appreciation;
there is no sense in not appreciating things;
and there is no sense in having more of them
if you have less appreciation of them.”
Does anyone take the time to appreciate or even notice the little things anymore? With all our distractions, life seems to pass us by at light speed, and we often forget to value or give thanks for the moments we live in and the things we have, no matter how great or small. Whatever your thoughts about the holidays, you have every right to make them as joyous or as dismal as you choose—but I advise against making them worse than necessary. So, in the spirit of making life better, or at least less terrible, let's embrace the theme of November's most famous holiday, Thanksgiving, and focus on appreciating whatever we can.
While it may seem obvious, it is important to avoid appreciating anything malevolent, as that would be both foolish and potentially sociopathic. However, since bad things inevitably happen, we must find ways to navigate through them. Amid ongoing challenges like social and political frustrations, war, and family difficulties, one effective strategy is to count our blessings. According to a study from the University of California, Davis (Emmons & McCullough, 2003), the practice of "counting blessings" not only increases positive emotions but also improves sleep quality—a benefit anyone would appreciate.
Additionally, an article in Judgment & Decision Making explores various methods to enhance positive emotions and foster a sense of engagement and meaning. The suggested practices include writing letters of gratitude, practicing optimism, performing acts of kindness, meditating on positive feelings towards others, and utilizing one's signature strengths (Miron-Shatz et al., 2013).
I understand those suggestions might seem a bit Pollyanna or cliché, but here's the catch: a growing body of research indicates they work! If you give them a try, you'll likely see improvements over time—whether weeks or months—and might even find yourself in a state of genuine "thanksgiving." These practices aren't easy and will require a genuine desire, willingness, and some kind of intentional effort to grow. If Thanksgiving is more than just a day, it must become a lifestyle, integrated into the everyday fabric of our lives.
So, what if there are negative aspects? If we are willing to look closely enough and allow sufficient time, we can find something worth appreciating. C.S. Lewis, a renowned 20th-century writer, expresses it this way: "We ought to give thanks for all fortune: if it is 'good,' because it is good; if 'bad,' because it works in us patience, humility, and the contempt of this world and the hope of our eternal country." Letters to Malcolm, Chiefly on Prayer
The second part of Lewis's quote, which views patience, humility, and disdain for worldly evils as virtues cultivated through hardship, is admittedly challenging. It becomes even more so if we don't take the time to quiet our minds and reflect, at least enough to attempt these suggestions. I acknowledge that this can be exhausting. Growth and improvement are rarely easy, but what is the alternative? And what is it that you truly desire?
I understand that life is full of hardship, but it is also filled with beauty, and we ought to seek it out regardless of the struggles. The Chesterton quote at the beginning of this article suggests that "the aim of life is appreciation" and that "there is no sense in not appreciating things." This is so clear, yet perhaps that's why it's so easily overlooked. So let's not overlook it, let the art of giving thanks be the only option! "It's practical after all—who doesn’t want to feel grateful for their family, friends, circumstances, or even the peculiar world they inhabit?" (Samuel).
But where do we start? What should we appreciate? Begin with the obvious and keep it simple: appreciate what you have, not what you lack. By doing so, and with the suggestions mentioned, we can cultivate and sustain gratitude and thankfulness. Broadly speaking, increasing our positive emotions can significantly improve our mental health, which consequently enhances our relationships (Cohn & Fredrickson, 2010). Who in their right mind wouldn’t be thankful for that?
“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought,
and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”
PS: If you need help please reach out and we'll work hard to pair you with the right clinician.
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