Navigating the labyrinth of parenthood amidst the whirlwind of obligations demands more than mere survival — it beckons for a profound connection.
Through a lens of everyday wisdom, parenting tips illuminate the path toward authentic engagement with our children. Amid life's chaos amidst the mess, we uncover the gems of lasting bonds.
Embracing these tips is akin to dusting off a treasure map. We reveal the riches hidden within the everyday soil of family life. So, let's embark on this journey together, where each muddy footprint is a testament to the depth of our love.
Finding Wisdom in the Mundane
At my youngest nephew's first birthday, I was pushing his older two-year-old brother on the swings. Then, I shared a silent understanding of the weight of parental responsibility and the joy it brings to another parent.
As he swayed back and forth, another mom joined me and pushed her son on the swing next to me while her two other girls zipped around gleefully on the playground.
One of the girls tripped in front of us over the sand. She flew forward like Supergirl and landed harshly on her hands and knees in the unforgiving gravel.
She brushed herself off as she stood, looked down at newly made scrapes on her knees, and looked back up at her mom, who, at that moment, exemplified the essence of parent responsibility by offering comfort and reassurance.
They locked eyes and looked, "I'm okay, you're okay, I can keep going," Mom said, "Sometimes, you gotta learn to play in the dirt," as she laughed and shrugged.
Embracing the Mess
I thought about the wisdom behind her words for the next few days.
Keeping the analogy in mind made me wonder, as parents, how being present can feel too laborious to get dirty amid duties and routine or that there doesn't seem to be enough time even to do it, much less do it well.
Here is a good growth mindset for parents. If the richness of the soil reflected how well we were being present with our children, would we say the soil is dry or fertile?
"Playing in the dirt," or being present, takes constant practice, intention, and mindfulness. There are times when it feels dry, times when it's fertile, and lots of times when it feels somewhere in between.
The struggle lies in the fact that dirt has its share of weeds — weeds such as I need to clean the house, we need to get in the car, and my kids need to put on their shoes.
Then there is mindful parenting, where you think, I need to make dinnerI need to bathe my child, I need to do laundry, I wish my kid would go to bed already, I have errands to run, and here's the next school event, and the next one, and the next one after that.
Then, there are more weeds. You need to do your homework, listen to me, do this before you can play, brush your teeth before story time, etc.
And that's just Tuesday. Whew!
Is it the weekend yet? Oh, wait. There's a whole other list of parental duties, to-dos, places to be, and people to see, too. There went the weekend. The following Monday is here already.
Nurturing Moments of Connection
There is richness in what you can miss amid these duties and routines, and it starts with a shift in mindset and what you look for. While maintaining a hold or scaffolding on the tasks at hand, in the midst of them, pay close attention to your parent-child relationship — the us.
Slow down. Did I look at the artwork my child did, talk about the colors and strokes, and share in genuine mutual pride? Did I really hear how rough a day my child had and share in the emotions while we ate?
Did I join in that funny dance my child did on her way through the door that made us laugh away? Intentionally focusing on us and being mindful of when these moments present daily help cultivate fertile soil. And did you notice that it watered your sense of parental responsibility, too?
It's all because you played in the dirt.
Charting a Course for Family Harmony
Voyages Counseling is a beacon of hope and healing, offering a reassuring hand in the storm. Serving families across Colorado, our compassionate team understands the unique challenges and joys of parenting in the region.
We guide families towards profound understanding and enduring connections through tailored services and empathetic support. From individual therapy sessions to enriching workshops, we support you and your children through life's challenges.
Embrace our parenting tips and embark on a transformative journey towards a harmonious family dynamic. Schedule a counseling session today!
Author:
Andy Yang, MA, LPCC
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